7 Pastoral Suggestions for Marriage

Mature couple sleeping in bed together

Recently, I preached a sermon titled “Marriage and Divorce: What Is the Real Issue?” It was powerful. Many people were moved and encouraged to live for what, and who, God has given them. Marriage is a gift, but sometimes we fail to see it that way.

One of the things that I did in the sermon was spend time suggesting points that I believe will help any marriage. Because it didn’t make it to the podcast, I want to share them with you here.

  • make time for your spouse–remember how it used to be…1 house, 1 car, 1 or 2 rotary phones that had to be “shared,” 1 tv that weighed more than a coffin, but a lot of talk time, a lot of family time? Yep, me too. Here are a few words: “Get off your phone!” So many people are facing divorce today because they stood in front of 100 people and said, “Yes, I do want to become one,” and then never actually became 1 with their spouse. (By the way, becoming 1 with someone is both instantaneous and progressive. Make time for your spouse.)
  • flirt with your spouse–do it…do it when you don’t feel like it…do it a lot when you do feel like it… do it in front of the kids so they know that you love each other… do it respectfully in public to show people that you love each other.
  • receive flirtation–listen, don’t make it impossible for your lover…if they flirt with you, if they’re investing in the relationship, don’t make it impossible because you feel like being hard!
  • take care of yourself–there’s nothing wrong with eating right and exercising. Eating garbage makes you feel like garbage. Alcohol…too much of it is unbiblical and unhealthy. The lifestyle that you choose to live within your marriage will directly affect your relationship. So take care of yourself. If you’re feeling better then your marriage will benefit.
  • remember the Golden Rule–Luke 6:31 is coined The Golden Rule. It says, “As you wish others would do to you, do so to them.” Love is about giving, not receiving. It’s sacrificial. It’s costly. Yes, there are benefits, but that’s not why we love. We love because God has loved us and taught us to do it to others, especially those close to us.
  • live for your marriage — make your marriage (not your make-believe marriage) a priority.
  • pray for your marriage–you cannot separate love and prayer. In fact, as Christians, we are even taught to pray for our enemies and those who persecute us. If that is Jesus’ teaching, then why wouldn’t we pray for those we promised to love and asked to love us in return? Pray for your marriage.




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